Giving it All for You

I never know how to start things like this. It's not only the beginning of an entry but the beginning of my blog. I never thought I would become a blogger but since graduating and moving halfway across the country I've discovered that it is nearly impossible to keep in touch with everyone I want to keep in touch with. Thank goodness for modern technology.

Well here we go, as you probably already know August 1st I left the Midwest and moved to Baltimore. Why Baltimore? The long and short of it is that's where I was needed. As you my good friends know for many years I have felt a sort of calling to go out and help the poor of America. I looked at many different Catholic volunteer organizations and settled on Mercy Volunteer Corps. I was intrigued by the type of work the volunteers did and knew with them I would really be able to be hands on with that work. Of course since I am such a procrastinator I did not send in my application to them until the WEEK! before the deadline. It was a long process but two weeks before the orientation was to begin I finally found out where I would be spending the next year of my life.

I was excited to move to Baltimore since the only things I knew about it I had found out through the wonderful musical Hairspray. Needless to say a musical that takes place in the 60's is probably not the best place to get information about a modern city where much to my shock and surprise people don't just walk around singing Without Love and You Can't Stop the Beat. Ah well, one of life's disappointments. (I did find out though the rats on the street really do dance around your feet, kind of, really it's a more of scampering through alley's but it's almost the same thing.)

The volunteer position I now have has absolutely nothing to do with anything I ever did in college. It's not theater, it's not music, it's not history and it's not even anything to do with Spanish. I work at a residential facility for people living with HIV/AIDS. When I found out that's what I was going to be doing I was very excited, I had always wanted to do work like that before but never thought I would ever be qualified. Before I said I would do this position they were in a slight panic because with a week to do before they lost their current volunteers they still had not found anyone to replace the current Mercy Volunteer. With the whole application process when they asked me where I wanted to be placed I told them where ever I was needed. And the Don Miller House needed me, it's a very nice feeling to be needed.

I have discovered since the beginning though is that just because I always thought it'd be a nice thing to do to work with people with people with HIV/AIDS doesn't mean it would be easy. In just three months I have gone from not being able to look at needles and just walking away from unpleasant situations where throw up and other bodily fluids are involved to being able to deal with those occurrences on a semi-regular basis. At the beginning of my time we had a woman who was a diabetic so we had to watch her while she would do her blood sugar and insulin, if you know me at all you know I don't do well around needles, well I just had to get over that real fast. That's the biggest thing I've learned as a volunteer, you have to deal with stuff that you don't want to have to deal and you just have to get over yourself and do what needs to be done. No one said it would be easy, but I think I tend to overly romanticize things. Granted it's not just the bodily functions I have to deal with, I also have learned how to remove and clean a fake eye, (um interesting), I've learned how to shave people, how to cut and paint nails, I've attempted to do someone's hair, (that didn't turn out so well) and I'm sure the experiences will just keep coming.
I've also learned alot of stuff that will come in handy if I ever get married and have a family. I am required to cook and Easy Mac and Ramen is not counted as a meal, I also have cleaning to do every shift, from laundry to sweeping and mopping you have to get it all done and in one house imparticular it can be a challenge to get everything done in a shift. I also fixed a shelf the other day, I know, I'm awesome.

That's just the brief overview of work so far, there is also the living in community thing. I live with three other women who are also with Mercy. Megan is working at an Adult Learning Center that will be moving into our building in a couple of weeks. Erin works as an Outreach Coordinater for a Parish in SoWeBo (Southwest Baltimore, where we live), she has started an after school program and other programs for the people in the community. Marilyn works as a chaplin at Mercy Medical Center. Megan, Erin and myself have all just graduated and Marylin is in her 60's which gives our community an interesting dynamic but it's fun. Our house now is about 150 years old, and we can definetely tell that. We've dealt with no water, a broken shower, power going out and other fun things with our house. Then there is Baltimore itself. It is an interesting city. There is a lot of crime here, it is the second most dangerous city in the U.S. after Detroit, I have already experienced this first hand. Our first weekend here we got in the middle of a crime scene and had a helicopter tell us to step away from the harbour. I thought talking helicopters were only in the movies, guess not. I've never seen the t.v. show The Wire but I've heard that it is very accurate with it's discription of Baltimore. Luckily I don't do drugs or belong to a gang so I should be ok when it comes to the crime.

One thing that is very difficult for me is knowing I'm trying to help people but seeing so many people that I am unable to help. In Baltimore they're everywhere. You don't have to go far to find people struggling with drug addiction, or who are homeless, or kids that have terrible home situations. It can be very difficult to just have to walk past these people and the only thing I can do for them is smile at them and acknowledge their existence. I know that I'm doing something but sometimes I feel like that isn't enough.

Well this has been a brief overview of my life in the last three months. Each of these paragraphs can be made into their own entry but that will be another day. If you made it to the end than good job. We don't have internet in our house so I have to go to a coffee shop on my days off to get internet. Hopefully I will be able to use this as a good tool to keep in contact with all of my wonderful friends out there. I love you all. I'll keep praying for you, you keep praying for me.

Nicole